He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
