one two three fourrrrnication!
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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