just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
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