Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
