I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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