Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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