how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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