Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
