can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
