ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
