We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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