I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
