his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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