I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
