now i know why i became what i already was.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
