if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
