i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
