There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
