North Korea, Best Korea!
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
