oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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