I think I am morally bankrupt
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Randomize
