As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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