he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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