She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
