Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
