last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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