...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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