All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Randomize
