i already hear my dad disowning me
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
