Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize