'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
