My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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