You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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