I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The air was thick with penises
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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