Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
