I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
