South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
