she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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