Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
