So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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