she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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