I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
