her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
