I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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