Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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