whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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