Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
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