idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
it was like eating out sand paper
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
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