I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize