No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
It's not a walk of shame if you run
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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