Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
