We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
