I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I need to stop coming to work sober
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
