So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
