okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
NoShamevember. You game?
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
