he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
