Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
