It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
