Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
