Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I hate all girls vehemently.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Randomize
